The holidays can be a stressful time of year – all that shopping, cooking and wanting it to be perfect. If you’re organizing a family event, you might find yourself as anxious as a soccer coach on the sidelines of a big match. But never fear, a Ted Lasso Christmas is here. Fans of the show will know that Ted seems to innately understand that how we react in difficult and stressful situations makes all the difference in whether we come out smiling or not.
In the first season, we see Ted with a wife who wants to divorce him, a boss who wants to destroy his reputation, and a whole stadium of fans calling him offensive names, yet he remains optimistic, refusing to let circumstances drag him down. Even though he is facing a challenge, he always has a smile on his face.
That trick, called Positive Psychology, was made famous by psychologist Professor Viktor E Frankl in his book Man’s Search For Meaning, published in 1946. It suggests that if we approach life with a hopeful frame of mind, we can shape our own reality. Years of research since Frankl’s book has overwhelming supported his theory that when difficulties strike, we can choose our reaction to them. “You can become 412 bones, or you can land like an Avenger,” Jason Sudeikis, co-writer of the show, explains. How does that relate to Christmas? Even if the holidays can get stressful in our efforts to make everything perfect, even if things go wrong, (because they often do), even the holiday doesn’t live up to expectations, we can still enjoy them if we choose to. Here’s how to do the holidays, the Ted Lasso Way.
1. It’s Not About The Wins and Losses.
The question is did you give it your best shot? If you burn the Christmas roast, if you bought the wrong gift, if things didn’t turn out as you’d hoped, then be at peace in the knowledge that you did everything you could and you tried your hardest. “Success is peace of mind which is a direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing you made the best effort,” said legendary basketball coach John Wooden, on whom Jason Sudeikis based Ted Lasso’s character. That philosophy can be applied to just about any situation. Even the Christmas holidays.
2. Be a Goldfish
When family comes together, there are always opportunities for arguments and feelings getting hurt. Conflict is unfortunately a frequent part of Christmas for families according to social scientists. But forgiveness, just like Ted gives to Nate and Rebecca, just as he advises Jamie, is the solution. Feeling aggrieved and offended, allowing an insult to turn into a lingering resentment, only hurts you. Instead, be a goldfish, just as Ted tells Sam Obisanya to be, because it has a ten second memory.
3. Volunteer
Fans of the show will remember the sugar and spice yuletide message when Ted and Rebecca play Santa giving gifts to children in the ‘Carol of the Bells’ Christmas episode. But doing good deeds also makes us feel good. It is a well-studied scientific fact that by helping others, we help ourselves because it makes us forget about ourselves and any burdens are lifted. So if you want to feel extra specially good this Christmas, go on, do one good thing for someone else.
4. Believe
Believing in Santa Claus is one thing, but believing in ourselves is even more important, whether that’s during the Christmas season or any time of year. Ted’s ‘Believe’ sign is more than just a TV prop. It is representative of the power that happens when we believe in ourselves. Confidence or self-efficacy, our belief in our ability to succeed affects just about everything we do. So, whether it’s slapping a Believe sign or telling yourself ‘I’m great’, give it a try. It will make a difference in how you approach the holidays and beyond.
5. Delegate
As the three seasons of Ted Lasso reach their conclusion, we see Ted take more and more of a back seat in leading his team. By the end, Roy is handling the press room, Jamie is delivering team strategies and Nate has shown his full potential. Ted has led by example, teaching those around him to lead and now he can sit back. We can all learn from that. Allowing others the space to contribute this holiday season, letting them have the opportunity to do some of the jobs that need to be done, will make them feel part of the team, improve their experience and give you room to breathe.
If you love Ted Lasso and found this post useful, you might enjoy other Ted Lasso posts and my book What Would Ted Lasso Do? You can find it here lucybroadbent.net/books.